Alright. So we're gonna wrap up this this portion here. Before I turn this back over to January, if you're like me, you like road maps. You like you'd like to know where you're going, and we haven't given that to you.

So I'm gonna do this right now. January is gonna share with you about, equipping parents to guard their children and equipping church leaders to minister to parents who are dealing with this issue. Then we're gonna have a half an hour q and a time. I urge you to jot down and put on your phone the questions you're gonna ask because we wanted to really open this up and have some dialogue after you've been jacked up and we were jacking you up.

And then we'll have some lunch. We'll come back from lunch. Then Israel will share with you about equipping church leaders, how to respond to this issue, and we'll have some table talk time during that. And, again, more time for interaction.

Well, then, Joel will be sharing about equipping church leaders to protect their church, documents, policies, etcetera. And I'll be talking about partnering, how we can partner with the community, and we'll end with equipping church leaders, to work with young people and children to protect themselves and then close off with another q and a. So that's where we're going. Here you go, January.

Thank you. Okay.

So as a parent who has experienced this firsthand, I hope you come away with this understanding the parent experience, but also how you can help your parents inoculate young children.

So what is the role of the parent?

And I don't know if you've noticed, but we have a parenting crisis in this country right now.

And it's because the parents, just like our kids are having a crisis identity, the parents are also having a crisis identity. And as you see here, Proverbs twenty two six says, train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old, he will not depart from it. Parents have lost that. Many times they are trying to be a friend, not a parent. They care more about what their kids think of them than they do setting healthy boundaries, and as a therapist, I can tell you all children need and crave healthy boundaries. That is how we show love to our children by protecting them.

So one of the things that needs to happen is parents need to take back their parental authority in all areas of our culture. This includes the doctor's offices, the schools, some of the things that I'm seeing in the doctor's offices right now is a gross violation of parental rights by asking parents to leave the room.

There was a there was a time when that could have been safe. That time is gone.

You should not be leaving your child, even your adolescent child, alone in a room. One thing that just happened to me personally recently in Florida is they slipped my child a laptop during the normal physical and said I just need you to ask answer a few questions. Now the old me would have just been sitting there looking at the things on the wall. This me said, what is that? What are you asking my child on the laptop that you're not showing me? And it turned out to be a garbage depression screening that they are now giving to every child at every visit.

So you go into a, you know, a doctor's office because your child is is vomiting or has a sore throat, and they're slapping them with a depression screening.

And I I told my pediatrician, I said, this number one, this is not helpful. This is not how you measure or assess if a child is having issues with depression.

Giving a child a tablet and not having any kind of communication or interaction, and what's happening is on the first two questions, if you get an elevated score of three or higher, it pops up seven more questions. And Abigail Shrier has talked about this extensively in her new book Bad Therapy, which I highly recommend.

But one of the questions is how often in the last two weeks have you thought your parents would be better off if you were dead?

They are asking this question to children ages nine and up.

So this overemphasis and this over concentration on mental health is actually backfiring.

They would do better if they were asking that child, how much time do you spend outside?

How much time are you spending online? Do you have a smartphone?

How many friends do you have? Do you sit alone at at lunch?

Those are the kind of questions pediatricians should be asking.

The other thing that parents have to understand, especially with this issue, and I would say a lot of issues our kids are facing, you cannot outsource your parenting to a counselor and think they're going to fix your child.

That is not going to happen. I have seen parents put their children in therapy at age four and five because they couldn't make friends. They don't need a therapist for that. They need a parent.

They need a parent to model behavior, to role play. We know how to make friends.

This is all hard. We have to stop outsourcing our job as a parent to quote unquote experts, because I can promise you, you are the expert of your child and you need to act accordingly.

The other thing you have to understand, and we've already acknowledged, parents are being lied to, especially when it comes to this issue. They are being emotionally manipulated with threats of suicide. It's all a lie.

If a child is suicidal, we don't affirm whatever the child is saying to avoid suicide.

That is a garbage argument, and it it is there is no science to back that up.

Brace your sister.

So what kind of child is at risk?

Every child is at risk, especially of at least becoming an ally.

They are being told this is the only way to be kind.

And please hear me when I say I am talking about an ideology.

I am not talking about a family member that you may be having that's struggling with sexual identification or even sexual orientation.

I have friends and families that are trans identified and practicing a homosexual lifestyle. So I hope that you hear all of us when we're saying we are not attacking a per a person that's struggling. We are attacking an ideology that is purposefully going after our children and confusing them about who Jesus made them to be.

So first Peter five eight says, be sober minded, be watchful. Your enemy, the devil, prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. This ideology preys on the most vulnerable. So even if your child doesn't fall prey, like I said, they're they're susceptible for being an ally.

So what happens is parents will hear their kids come home and say, well, Johnny is now Jane or Amber is now Aiden, and the parents are like, what are you talking about? They're like, mom, that's mean. You can't say that. Like, you can't say that child's biological sex because that is mean.

So they're creating these soldiers of this pseudo religion that is worshiping self identification over our real God.

But the kids that are more at risk are kids like my daughter, kids that have trouble fitting in. This is not going after the captain of the football team.

It's going after the kids that have issues like autism, sexual trauma, history of self harm, eating disorders.

There's a high comorbidity with kids that spend a lot of their time gaming and online, don't have in person friends.

Certainly, if they have trans identified friends already, that is a huge red flag that you need to immediately look for.

They tend to be artistic, many are musical, many, many of these kids are in the theater program, and oftentimes, like my daughter, she didn't want to become a boy, She just wanted to escape becoming a woman because she was so uncomfortable with what that entailed.

Many of these girls have an intense illogical fear of being sexualized in any way, especially if they have been exposed to porn at an early age, because porn today, folks, is not porn twenty five years ago. It is violent, it is deviant, and it is degrading, and it is available at one little button on these smartphones.

The boys falling prey, we don't hear a lot about them, but they are out there, and there's a whole website devoted to boys if you're interested.

Rapid onset gender dysphoria is the term that was coined by Lisa Littman that describes the sudden onset of the gender dysphoria.

And, you know, there's some describe there's some, I guess, disagreement as to whether or not these kids have true dysphoria or not, and I can understand that because their true dysphoria often occurs at a very young age.

But even what Bernadette said is even if you have real dysphoria that's kind of more in line with what we were seeing historically, the vast majority of these kids would have outgrown this distress during or after puberty.

So with the boys, many times, again, they're into porn. They don't fit the stereotypical manly masculine man. Many don't know how to interact with girls or maintain that kind of relationship, so they feel a great sense of rejection or fear about rejection, and many of these boys, just like the girls, are also on the spectrum.

So, what does inoculating children look like?

This is really, really important because every single child needs to be inoculated and what this looks like is age appropriate inoculation at every age for that child. So the younger the child, the simpler the language. The things that I teach parents to say is God made you a boy, and isn't that amazing?

And one day you're gonna grow into be a man just like daddy, and no matter what, that can never change.

So you're planting the seed of truth to counteract what they're going to hear at school, which is, oh, yeah, if you want to be a girl, you can become a girl. If you want to be non binary, no one can stop you. You're the only one that knows your gender identity and you get to choose. Nobody else.

And the truth is, and, you know, God showed me a couple of months ago that not every Christian understands the truth. That slapped me in the face.

I was sitting next to an Anglican priest who actually said to me, well, this issue was more complex than you're making it out to be. Because of the fall, our bodies can be born wrong.

I almost fell out of my chair.

I was like, you and I need to have a conversation.

And then, you know, he after I completely shut his argument down and and spoke, like, scripture into him, he said, well, I was being devil's advocate. And I said, well, while you're being devil's advocate, there are thousands of families being torn apart by this ideology and girls as young as twelve in our country with their breasts being amputated.

So my call to action is, pastors, please get off the sidelines. Don't think that this has not come to your church. It already has.

Even if the kids are not actively talking about it, they are seeing it online.

So my youngest son, what inoculation looks like in my home, is they know all about the flags. Anytime my youngest son sees a flag, he's like, mom, here's a flag.

And he doesn't know what it means. He probably does now because he's thirteen, but when he was younger, I taught him to bring me anything that has a pronoun in it, gender, or a flag.

And he did that, and he was like, mom, do you need your phone? Are you gonna do a post about this? I was like, you know me so well, son. Yes, I am. Go get mommy's phone.

But that's what inoculation means today. You have to be speaking truth because one of the things that I said early on when this hit my daughter, I spent so much time telling her, sweetie, you can be anything you wanna be.

Anything you wanna be. But I didn't know I had to say except a boy.

That's something that we parents took for granted. We had no idea this trans train was coming. And I try to I try to warn parents, don't be shy about this.

Ask your kids what they already know because I can promise you on some level they have been indoctrinated.

So my my advice is to first ask questions, see what they know, see what's already in their minds about this, see what their opinions and thoughts are, then you come around with truth.

The other thing is we need to get back to no secrets from parents, get back to the basics, stranger danger. And so one of the resources, Courageous a Habit, they have a great resource called stranger danger where you actually actively talk about with your children what are only family conversations that should be had, and then role play. Say if your teacher tries to tell you it's okay to keep secrets, what are you going to say?

Give them that language. I feel uncomfortable.

I'm not allowed to have this conversation with you. I would like to call my mom right now.

We have to get our kids to understand that anyone, no matter who they are, if they teach your child it's okay to keep secrets from a parent, they are no longer safe to be with.

And if anyone is confused about the truth in this room, which I don't think you are, but we were created, male or female, in God's image for a specific purpose and design.

And we need to be teaching that to our children from a very early age, often at every single age group.

This is part of the stranger danger that you can look up online.

So blessing a child's sexual identity. This is actually really, really important.

Puberty is not a disease, and what activists will say is you don't want children to go through the wrong puberty.

They actually say this.

They say that would be too distressing.

Because what happens is is you have to understand, they started normalizing this, this idea of a transgender, transgender child, that children are born this way around twenty fifteen, twenty sixteen.

Katie Couric had a documentary, PBS, BBC. There were all these documentaries about what's it like to have a trans child.

Like this Jazz.

Jazz Jennings came on the scene.

It was like these children were unicorns or something, and everybody was just like, oh, that's so sad, but okay. You know, I guess that's how they were born. No one really critically thought about this until it became a social contagion. The other thing that they hid very well, what it well, what does it mean to be a transgender child?

Number one, they can't define it. They have that circular definition with the gender identity and it's different than sex. Well, what is gender identity? Well, it's a feeling.

Well, wait a second. You're giving puberty blockers to a child that's going to sterilize them based on a feeling?

So this, this ideology rapidly falls apart with any amount of critical thinking.

So part of that inoculation process is to instill critical thinking skills in our children.

When my daughter was inoculated into, I mean, excuse me, indoctrinated, I spent a lot of time talking about other issues that would involve critical thinking, like who is susceptible to a cult?

What would that look like? How do you get someone out of a cult?

And then I would, you know, gently start to ask her questions about the contradictions.

Like, if someone's born trans, how then is gender fluid and can change over time?

Can you I'm trying to understand. Can you help me understand?

So I stopped coming at this from truth because when they're that indoctrinated, you cannot talk them out of this. They have to come around to that conclusion.

But asking them questions from a place of curiosity and not judgment is really important.

But blessing the sexual identity of children is extremely critical in today's time.

Because being uncomfortable about our body during puberty, that is nothing new.

Having an identity crisis during puberty is nothing new. What's new is giving them this false answer that you were born in the wrong body and the only way to fix this pain is to make irreversible changes to your body.

And what happens with all of these co occurring issues is called diagnostic overshadowing, where the focus, if you took your child to a gender clinic, the focus then becomes that gender identity and the transition process and all the others psychiatric comorbid issues are swept to the side and they are told these will resolve. These are because of the trans identity. That is a hundred percent false.

And so what happens with the detransitioners that Bernadette brought up is when they come to realize that it's a lie, which takes an extraordinary amount of cognitive dissonance.

This is why the arc of a trans identity is about five to seven years for most people. It takes that long for them to recognize this is a lie.

Number one, I can't change sex. That was a lie. But number two, this didn't fix my pain.

So puberty is not just about secondary sex characteristics. Puberty is a really critical process that we all must go through into adulthood for maturity.

That's part of God's design for our bodies, and children need to understand this and what a blessing it is. It is a blessing that God made you a male, or it is a blessing that God made you female, and all the amazing things that comes along with being that sex.

We have to show our children that, because in this time of hypersexualization of girls and the the toxic masculinity of our boys, they are seeking the truth about who God designed them to be.

The other thing that, I would encourage you for your youth pastors is be doing this in your youth groups.

And my so I became a youth leader. I figured if I if I'm gonna tell people to inoculate people, I better put my money where my mouth is. So I became a youth leader. And so when we separate our youth group by sex and ages, I am always sure, number one, during prayer to thank the Lord for these young girls in front of me, and to thank God for creating them in his image as female. I want them to hear that over and over and over.

So now I'm gonna switch gears a little bit to social media and how this is, manifesting for our kids.

I don't see the Take it one more time. Okay. Oh, there we go.

Biological sex is fake.

Yes, we all know that gender roles are fake, but do not say to a trans person biologically male, born female, male bodied.

No no no no no. There is no biological criteria for gender that is both universal and a binary in human beings.

Where does that leave us?

Free.

Free so that your friends know what gender you're feeling today. Gender fluid edition.

Okay. So that you don't have to do any of these. These are just things that I do. One, pronoun bracelets.

You can get different colored bracelets with different pronouns. And for example, this one says she, her. This one says he, him, and this one says they, them. The colors also correspond to how I'm feeling.

So black usually goes with my black male outfit.

This usually goes with, like, my pink femme female outfit, and this usually goes with a minimum buying outfit. Just always let your friends know what gender you're feeling today and how they can address. Pins are also another good option. For example, I have this one that says stay down for everything you're wearing. Couple of days ago, but I've only come out to a few people.

I'm a guy.

And so now it's the back and forth of I'm trans. Or no, there's no way I'm trans or maybe I'm trans? You're confused. That's totally normal. Now let's bring up all the reasons why you might think that you're not trans. Is it because you think you're too feminine or you think you're too masculine?

Because let me remind you that feminine does not equal female and masculine does not equal female.

Lesbian. Snow White here. AKA the pronouns, yeah.

And today, I'm gonna show you how to use rat rat's pronouns and sentences.

So let's go.

Ton made me realize I'm trans.

And then I made a number of people realize that they are trans, and then some of them have made some other people realize that they are trans. It's a full o beautiful queer circle of life.

The week of trans transness is gone.

Forty nine of being a girl, and this video is to all the queer and trans kids and teens out there who have been following along on my journey. Hello.

First of all, I'm kind of honored that you accepted me as one of your own since I'm on the Gen Z millennial cusp. But most importantly, I am in awe of you. You give me so much hope. I'm, like, enamored.

I wish that I So that's just a little taste of what kids are exposed to online.

The third video in there, when that girl announced she was miraculously a boy because she cut her hair, if you hear the applause, that is the love bombing effect that these kids are experiencing.

My daughter, who was socially awkward and had a really difficult time making friends, when she found this friend group and she initially came out as non binary, she was love bombed, not just by her peers, but by her teachers.

It made her feel special, different, in a good way that she had never been affirmed as when she was identifying as a girl. And it's a very normal process for these kids to dabble in sexual orientation, like many of them will come out as bisexual or pansexual or lesbian, and then often it morphs into, well, I'm gender fluid. No, I'm non binary.

No, I'm a boy.

My daughter's identity changed four times in two years.

The bottom line is these kids are confused and they need the adults in their life to step up and help them make sense of their world.

So as you can see from that compilation of the video, why I'm suggesting no child under the age of sixteen should have a smartphone.

And I I mean it. They certainly shouldn't have social media, but you have to understand, we thought we as parents were doing all the right things. My daughter had a phone, but it was locked down and she didn't have social media, but guess what? It didn't matter because her friends did. It didn't matter that we were charging her phone in our room at night. It didn't matter that we were had bark on her phone because those kids had their phone all night, they had access to everything, and they were sending it to her in a group chat.

Be mindful of discord.

I am I am clear that that came straight from the devil.

That is how a lot of these kids are getting groomed, but any app that has messaging ability is a chance for that child to be groomed by a predator.

The story of Sage that Bernadette was talking about, that's exactly how she was groomed, or through these messaging apps.

There are alternatives now. My youngest son has what's called a GabPhone, g a b b, and these, you know, these aren't like the flip phones. A lot of kids are like, I don't want a flip phone. I don't, you know, I wanna fit in, mom.

That's so lame. And I get it. So there's alternatives now where they look like smartphones. They even have the Bible app and weather.

They have the tracking ability. You can take photos, listen to music, but they don't have Internet, and they you can't download apps. So I would encourage you all to inform your congregation about what's out there because part of the problem with this issue are the parents.

We know how bad these phones are, but you keep putting these cracked devices in the kids hands.

Parents have to be able to do their job too, which is protecting their kids in the way that they need to be protected from this. And I know it's hard. I know there is social pressure out there, especially from the kids themselves. I get it.

But you don't want this to come into your home. I promise you.

One thing that I highly encourage you to do, kids are addicted to their phones. Heck, even adults are addicted to their phones. It's very hard and it's, we're we're we're just in the infancy of researching this and how it's impacting our children's brain development, but it is rewiring brains just like pornography does.

So make your use group a phone free time.

Have cubbies or designated we have a table laid out that has colorful, squares, and all of our kids are told put your phones on the square, you'll get it back when we're done at youth. And it was a little bit of noncompliance at first, but now all the kids just throw them on the table. They don't care. We have to create phone free environments because they are getting way too much phone time. And just like schools are seeing success by not having phones in the school, youth groups are too.

It breaks my heart to go into a youth setting and see all the kids like this on their phones scrolling, not interacting, not playing a game, and that's on us.

We need to be the adults in the room. We need to set those boundaries.

So I already touched on this a little bit.

It's just important that we are aware of what's happening in the doctor's offices and take back our authority.

Opting out of surveys, you can say no. Do not give my child a depression screening. No. You're not gonna ask her about, sexual orientation or gender identity because that's also happening in our doctor's offices. And in our guide is all kinds of advice, including an opt out form on doctor Grossman's website. So I'm not gonna go into much of this, because it's all in the guide. So I wanna get to walking a child through this confusion because it's really, really important.

So this are the top six steps that I see for how to walk a child. I wrote a whole chapter in the guide. It's an appendix, but then I also do this full time for an organization called Do No Harm. So if you know someone that has a child struggling, they can reach out to me. My email is January at do no harm medicine dot org, and it's all free services. I set up a Zoom and connect that parent with resources that they need to help them walk their child through the confusion. But the number one thing parents need to do, and I would encourage you to be actively doing this anyway because this will combat the ideology as well.

Repair the parent child relationship.

You need to have open communication with your child. Your child needs to know they can come to you with anything.

And even if you're gonna be upset or confused, you're gonna get through it as a family.

They need that reassurance.

Restricting Internet, and again, this was for someone that's already been indoctrinated.

Setting healthy boundaries. So what that looked like with our daughter was while you're exploring who you're becoming, if it's going to harm you psychologically or physically, the answer has to be no.

But if it's not, the answer is yes.

So those were the boundaries that we chose to set. For girls, it's a little bit easier, I'm gonna be honest, because it didn't matter if she was wearing more masculine clothing. That's more challenging for a boy.

And so for our daughter, we allowed her to cut her hair, wear it the way she wanted, because what we said to her is cutting your hair does not make you a boy and I need you to understand that.

Wearing clothing that is gender neutral does not turn you into a boy.

What you're talking about is a personality. And that's really what they're talking about when they say gender identity.

There are boys, girls, males and females. How you choose to present yourself as masculine or feminine is your personality, and those are infinite.

So we have to break through this lie of these stereotypes. I mean, how regressive is that? We're, that we're teaching little girls that if you like to play trucks and play sports and you don't like to wear dresses, that means you're a boy. That is incredibly regressive thinking.

I already touched on the critical thinking. We watched, documentaries on cults, the social dilemma on Netflix. I highly recommend you have to make sure it's appropriate for your child, but they need to understand that this technology is addictive and they are the product.

The goal of these companies is to keep these children online as long as possible.

Changing environments, we had to pull our daughter, and that's important because I didn't wanna believe that at first.

Parents need to feel empowered to pull their child from any environment where their parental authority is not going to be respected or there it's going to be violated.

That's extremely important. And thankfully, we have a lot of alternatives now.

Safe in person activities, I had to prescreen every person my daughter was gonna spend time with alone. Every person. Whether it was the hairdresser, the new art teacher, every person, even the youth pastor. I did not take it for granted that there are some youth pastors that affirm these identities. I had to make sure that that was not gonna happen.

So what is it like to be a parent experiencing this?

It's horrible.

It is one of the most isolating experiences I've ever had.

They are feeling scared for their child.

They are watching their child deteriorate in real time. They are feeling desperate.

And often they don't know who they can turn to or trust. I made the mistake in confiding in some of my best friends, who I thought, even though they're liberal, they've known my daughter her whole life.

Those people are no longer my friends.

Because they said to me, what if this is just who he is?

Oftentimes for parents, just like it does for the child, it becomes an obsession because they are desperate to get their child back. I can't tell you how many hours I spent reading books online.

Three o'clock in the morning, I couldn't sleep. So I would get up. I had, you know, thoughts were pouring through me constantly of how to get my daughter back. That's all parents care about. This impacts all family members, including siblings. Oftentimes, siblings are not given the attention that they need during this time because there's so much time and attention spent on the trans identified child because they're often volatile, they're angry, they get very belligerent, throw tantrums when they are not affirmed.

Oftentimes, it felt like the twilight zone where my husband and I were the only ones trying to protect her from self harm, and that is what I call gender gender affirming care. These interventions are medically sanctioned self harm because it's all based on the child's self ID. There's no test.

There's no test. They can, you know, they compare this to diabetes. Oh, it's just like diabetes. No, it's not.

There's no test to see what child's gonna persist in their trans identity and what child is going to desist. And even if there was, you are still playing God with that child's body.

It's very emotionally draining, and many parents are traumatized through this process.

Oftentimes, parents that I that I speak to, they can't even get through ten minutes without breaking down.

And it's a huge huge strain on marriages.

I have seen marriages fall apart. Obviously, there were fractures already.

But this is incredibly hard on marriages. And so I would encourage churches to be prepared and aware of that, and they may need to minister to the couple separately from what's going on with the child to make sure their marriage stays strong and intact through this process.

So how should the church respond? The church has to become a safe haven for these families.

They need to know that no matter how their child identifies, they are going to be treated as the sex they are and were created to be.

And that doesn't mean we don't show these kids love and compassion. Please hear me.

We do not need to compromise God's word in order to do that. That is a lie. And there are prominent Christian leaders telling you that you have to affirm, use the name and pronouns. That is not true.

We can come to these kids, meet them where they're at, asking them questions, but also showing them God's word.

And and Joel will get into this later, but parents need to be assured that when kids are separated in the youth group, restrooms, overnight trips, it's all gonna be done by sex, not gender identity, like what's happening in the schools.

And then you may need to, you may need to help them understand why it's unkind to use someone's name and pronouns. And I don't mean, like, throwing it in their face. You can avoid names. Like, I used a pet name with my daughter the whole time she was trans identified.

But number one, it's lying, and it's not kind to lie to people. And one of the famous state transitioners who I adore, Laura Perry, who's now Laura Smalls, She said when you get tired of the lies, you don't turn to those who are willing to lie to you. You go to those that were willing to tell you the truth no matter how hard it was.

And I clung to that.

I clung to those words because it would have been a lot easier for me to affirm my daughter.

But I knew it was wrong, and I knew it wasn't what God was calling me to do.

Number two, when you affirm these people and this false identity, you're actually affirming their self hate.

My daughter hated herself.

And when everybody was telling her, you're right.

You should hate yourself.

You should hate your body.

That broke my heart because she is beautiful just the way she is. All of these kids are beautiful just the way God made them, and it is evil to turn them against the body that God created them to be in. They are robbing these children of their futures in every way possible.

I'm gonna quickly go through these.

So had resources ready, and I'm gonna show you these. Some articles, research, list of safe therapists.

Again, you you're welcome to reach out to me. I created a resource page that is secular, just so you know, at do no harm medicine dot org under resources.

But here's some parent parent books that you need to have in your library.

Lost in Trans Nation by doctor Grossman, A Practical Response to Gender Distress, and desist to trans to talk. So if you wanna take a quick picture of that.

And then here's inoculating young children. There these, organizations focus on the family help for families. They actually have support groups for parents, which are great. And then the gospel coalition, they all have wonderful biblically based resources to give to parents to how to talk to this this issue with your children. And these books you see at the bottom, Elephants are not Birds, She is She, they also have a He is He, but we need to be instilling God's sexual identity in children at a very young age, and these are wonderful books to do that.

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